Saturday, June 18, 2011

What to do?

I'll warn you before you start reading: this is a bit of a downer :( Sorry, I promise I'll be more upbeat on the next posting-I'll probably recap my long run scheduled for tomorrow and how could that not be exciting and full of exuberance?

Tomorrow is Father's Day. I've had two fathers in my life: one biological who passed away when I was 3 and one who was my dad, not biological but he was there and loved me through the many, many soccer games, piano recitals, and silly high school dances and he passed away 1 1/2 years ago. Now that he is gone I have no idea what to do with myself on Fathers Day. On most important days (birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines Day etc) I first call my mom to make sure she is coping alright but then I have to ask myself if I am alright and I don't know the answer to that question. On almost any day I am great but it's the little things that get me: not knowing what to do when a car problem happens and automatically thinking to call my dad, looking through wedding photos are realizing that an important face is missing, and I know it's silly, but not having anyone to call or buy a card for on Father's Day. Tomorrow Logan is on call so I am alone. The only thing I have planned is doing my long run which maybe that's for the best-no better way to outrun sadness then to limp along a trail at a glacial pace.
Miss him :(  but he would probably tell me to quit whining and run faster          

1 comment:

  1. I started tearing up when reading this.... well written. I miss him too, many days I do just fine but some days something strikes a memory of him. I know though he is in a better place watching over us. I have to remind myself that he is better off & no longer suffering. He loved his family so much & always put us first over himself. He was an amazing man & even more amazing father.